The Grammar Nazi

Many of my friends and past colleagues have lovingly nicknamed me “The Grammar Nazi”. Lovingly, I’m sure. I learned early on in life that you don’t make friends by correcting their speech. I can just imagine some of my early childhood conversations, held over fruit snacks and sandboxes:
Friend: “Hey Tara, can you borrow me your Dr. Seuss book?”
Me: “No, but I can lend it to you.”
Friend: “Seriously Tara, I seen it on Sesame Street. It’s supposed to be great.”
Me: “You saw it on Sesame Street?”
Friend: “Nevermind, I see if my mom’s boughten it for me”
Me: “Boughten? Is that a word?”

Now, imagine my surprise some 20 years later when on my way home for the holidays, I had the great pleasure and frustration of witnessing one of the most profound examples of bad grammar I’ve ever seen. On the back of a young man’s shirt, it said: “And Damn, Proud of It”. Damn (comma)? I learned that the shirt was attempting to say: “Indian, and damn proud of it!” Clearly, my first reaction was to figure out why there would be a comma after “damn”. Was this a new attempt at a tee-shirt knock-off? Had the sweatshops resorted to grammar to change a brand? What happened to the usual changes, like the backwards Nike swoosh? Or “Prado” instead of “Prada”? Grammar? Really? It couldn’t be.

Needless to say, this misplaced comma haunted me over the holidays as I began to add a long pause after many words as a sort of joke. Sort of, because I think I’m the only one who found it amusing. “Have a Happy (pause) New Year!” or “I got this great (longer pause) new shirt.” On the bright side, I may have stopped correcting my friends (at least sometimes), but the Grammar Nazi is still alive and kicking!